I have to admit. I am “doing” homework while I’m typing this. In as much as I truly want to continue on with the reflection piece due tomorrow, I feel the need to just put out again some thoughts on to this page. Whether or not any of you feel the exact same way or were somehow put into the same perspective as I am right now, please understand as well that these are simply just to rid of the tension of the lack of opportunities to simply do so.
I am pissed. I don’t know why, but, right now, I feel angry. I do not know what I am angry at. I haven’t an idea where it came from. I have, for the past few weeks, an desire to just punch someone. There is just this recent need to let some experience pain. No. I am not a masochist. I do not take pleasure in seeing pain. I understand the difference, but, just now, I simply feel that the toll of injustice has gone an even higher notch than it had ever been in my life.
Second, I feel lost. I don’t know why either. I haven’t a clue regarding where I’d picked this up, but there is this need to wander off further, out of this city, out of this place, out of all this anger and sadness. Christmas is nearing, and I’ve been just rearing to go get lost where I’ll be happy. I guess it’s come to be a desire dressed up as a need, but, in as much as I know that is the case, my mind has kept it in the opposite.
I need to get out. The past few months have been an issue of getting trapped in a cycle, that process of doing the exact same things no matter how tiring the repetitiveness has become, and it has, since then, become vital for me to leave.
I know that, at some point, I’ll miss this place. I’ll never forget all the quick laughs my classmates, friends, and family’s sneaked in whenever they could, but it’s become repetitive now.
I guess that’s it.
I need new.